May you live in interesting times

Yep – that’s certainly been true of late – life has been… interesting – to say the least.

I’ve been in a little slump lately – just in my personal outlook on things – not depressed, but a bit strung out, anxious and/or a little “blah”.  Some up’s and down’s over the last month or so – as well as some times earlier this year.

I guess the “core” of this is the “C” word – no, not that one – but CHANGE.

Without turning this post into a whinge fest, or as public display of personal thoughts/feelings (too much) – I wanted to just “blog” some of it – for future reference – and as a cathartic way of “getting it out”.

I’m usually a pretty keen advocate of “change”, I’ve changed jobs many, many times – and moved house annually for a while.   It was just a way of keeping life “on the go”.   Not a control freak – but I was definitely piloting my own ship – I was in control of the course ahead.

Certainly, the IT industry changes – and continues to do so.  Just “tech” in general changes all the time – part of the reason I enjoy what I do – always something NEW.

My life journey in general was on a fairly smooth & predictable path for the first time – I’d found my “niche” in work/life balance – some great friends – and was pretty much “happy” – no changes required, please !

But – over the last 12 months, I’ve had some significant life changing events, none of which was expected – or even anticipated – and yet to play out to it’s full extent, in some form or another.

I had a friend who suggested I read the book “who moved my cheese” – I think I still might.   However, I think much of that is related to work/professional life – which is actually pretty much in check.

Maybe part of the feeling lately is that the changes ahead/underway were not my doing – was out of my control – and there’s some sort of “denial, anger, fear, sadness, acceptance” stages – or something like that.  And, I’m still “processing” – ever closer to acceptance.

Just “time” is the key – time to process, time for things to pass, time for matters to unfold further.   Time is in short supply though !   Days where I’ve felt like I’m running, and can’t keep up – juggling too many “balls in the air”.

Suffice to say, I’ve had a bit of a tough year (2008) – and have been a bit of a prick to some folk of late – in what I say and do.   Sorta lashing out, you might say.  

And, the irony is that it’s my mates who help – and it’s them that I need the most.  So don’t want to piss ‘em off, and lose any of them !

Therefore, another reason for this post is to say SORRY to those that I’ve been a smart-arse, cynical, grumpy, snide, mean or just plain rude – the twitter crew will know what I’m talking about !

If I’ve been a pain-in-the-butt, or “high maintenance” of late, then sorry again – don’t give up on me !

Life is OK – don’t get me wrong – just some interesting times – now and ahead – all of which will become clear in a short while.

That’s all.  

Grumpy Wookie is not really THAT grumpy – just a little frazzled – maybe it could be called “a bad hair day” – that’s enough to make any wookie a little grumpy.

And as Yoda said – “Do.  Or do not.  There is no try"…